Extrovert

I know someone, and I will try to be non-attributional so as not to out who it is. But this person is such an extreme extrovert that they cannot function without people around. If you are doing something on the same property as them they will ask you to come do work near them. They can't be in a car alone and not be one the phone. During a phone conversation recently there was this particular exchange:
Me - You are an extreme extrovert
Them - That's a big word and I have no idea what it means, I just hate being alone at any time
Me - ding ding ding!

More to follow if they figure out who they are.

This is several months old, pre-wedding diet

You know how when you go get a burrito, either breakfast or otherwise, generally greasy and awful for you. It's almost always an excellent culinary experience on par with the finest of meals available in the vineyards of Provence I'm sure. But generally when you procure such an item, the fine dining establishment typically provides the diner with a choice of at least two sauces to accompany their burrito. Usually there will be a red and green sauce, or a hot or mild sauce, or a chipotle or other chipotle, whatever the case, generally you have two choices. In almost all cases one of the two sauces is far superior to other, it's like how when you have two pairs of workout shoes one is always better than the other.

But what happens when both of the sauces are subpar? I had this happen to me the other day, and let me tell you, it was right up there in terms of stressful and unpleasant situations with stepping on a Lego with a bare foot or scrapping a parked car in a parking lot and it's minor enough that you don't want to leave a note but you feel obligated and then you don't know what to do and then it gets awkward because you are standing there looking at a stranger's car and they could walk up at any second...it's never happened to me but I heard from a friend.   Anyway, when both sauces are bad it ruins your day. It is devastating. And it's a weird devastating because the main attraction of the meal is the delicious burrito, but the sauce is usually a delightful accompaniment, and when it's awful or not there it really throws off the whole experience.  It's like when you go on a really amazing date and you get no necking at the end, just sort of throws it off.  Or when you get a nice steak but the baked potato is awful. It's just offputting.

So please for the love of pete, if you are a burrito manufacturer, have at least one good sauce. Because I don't want my day ruined because you put zero work in on your sauce game. Step it up. It's not that hard, maybe get some Tapatio on tap. Don't ruin my day through sloth.  And that goes for you too hot chocolate that tastes too dark chocolatey, step your game up.

Yard Work Conundrum

So one of the things that happens to you as you supposedly mature is you might buy a house.  Buying a house seems like a lot of work and is a total hassle, because renting is so much easier and also better for you. So foolishly I bought this house, goodness knows why.  And once you buy a house, all the yard work that you weren't doing for the past 10 years comes back to haunt you in a hurry. So now basically all my free time is spent doing yard work.  Which is great and it feels even better when you get things accomplished, or you break new things, or sometimes you think you are done with something and someone swoops in and tells you that a much more advanced and elaborate measure is required to fit the mutual need/use.  During those particular scenarios it is not the best feeling when you've spent blood sweat and sometimes tears doing things, but that is an aside. Doing yard work is physically exhausting, it feels like you spent a bunch of time lifting/moving heavy things and thus should garner the same physical benefits of doing said things at the gym.  The problem is that it doesn't.  You do all the work but it's not the same as doing specific exercises at a gym or weight room.  You may feel like you were moving the whole time for hours but it wasn't the same as doing cardio. After a couple month of this your built up muscle mass decreases because instead of banging out sets of 12 at the gym and sweating all over the equipment and getting swole, you are banging out 12 sets of moving dirt back and forth and getting heat rash. And since you are so tired from doing stuff in the yard, you probably aren't super motivated to go to the gym afterward, or there's no time (some people will be like, "There's always time" and sure that might be true if you are an asshole/cunt, but I'd be willing to bet they don't have 3/4 of an acre of yard to wrestle).

I should have known better, so part of this is an apology to all the guys I hassled in the past about buying a house and then not going to the gym.  You were right and I was wrong, yard work does take up all of your time and energy.  I saw this same thing happen to friends and gym colleagues (bros) when they grew up, and I didn't understand.  Oh how naïve I was, with all my care free workout time.  Instead of trimming rose bushes I was crushing lunges and deadlifts. My days are filled with the firm feel of excess paint smacking me in the face, rather than a boxing glove in the grill during sparring.  Some times my mind harkens back to the simpler days, days less filled with horse poop and moving termite filled plywood, and more filled with Russian kettlebells and yoga.