No Adults

Today is one of those very rare days in the office where there are absolutely no supervisors in at any level. So basically it means I get to be productive and proactive and have as much fun as I want. Awesome. I always work with a large degree of autonomy but it feels even better to not have anyone around to come and give me additional tasks. The freedom is gratifying. Don't get me wrong I enjoy a sense of direction as much as the next worker, but I like to think that I'm a pretty creative guy and that I can get the job done without adult supervision. I think many of my co-workers feel the same based on the fact that everyone seems busy today and they all seem to be in such high spirits. Although maybe that's the holiday spirit.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to work for myself, could I get by with absolutely as little direction as possible? Who knows maybe I'll get there someday. In the meantime I'll settle for this feeling of childish delight that I have the whole work day to do whatever I need to do! It's almost a guilty pleasure really, I feel as though I should be hiding my delight at the lack of adult supervision. Not sure exactly why that is since I'm still doing lots of work and being very busy. Hahaha you fools, look what happens when you leave me to my own devices, I do lots of necessary work and fix a bunch of problems! Yes, that'll show them to never leave me alone again! Take that.

Not enough time here

I've spent the last couple days back in the DC area (and the NJ area for 2 days). It's so hard, I want to see everyone I know and have lots of time to talk with everyone. But sadly I have been running all over the place and not accomplishing that at all. I wish I had like, 2 more weeks around here to see everyone, my family and friends and everyone. I wonder if this is going to be a familiar feeling when I come back to DC. Not having that much time with the people I still care about here. It makes me feel bad, maybe next time I won't tell as many people I'm coming back, because I feel like I wanted to see many more people than I did.

I should hirer a prostitute

Because this is getting ridiculous. Just saying.

Done with christmas shopping, I think

So I like to think I do a pretty good job Christmas shopping most of the time. And this year I just decided to take an afternoon off and get it all done, which I did, hopefully. Shopping for Christmas presents is one of the most agonizing part of the year, I usually spend so much time and effort thinking about what to get people and then praying that they enjoy it. So here's hoping all the planning and looking and then actual shopping I did paid off. At least I got it done a week ahead of time!

Getting ready for the Holidays and into the spirit is tough in Southern California, the weather is usually so nice and perfect (although it has rained the last 3 days) it's hard to see Christmas decorations when you are outside riding your bike and go, "Man it feels like Christmas". Part of what I associate with Christmas is the cold weather and the feel of everything, snow included. Out here it feels like summer or spring pretty much every day, so instead of putting on a warm coat and going by the department stores to look at decorations while braving the cold and maybe getting some hot chocolate or egg nog. You put on some running shoes and on your way to the gym you stop to get a smoothie or a frappachino while you are wearing shorts and a t-shirt. That's when you notice the Christmas display in the "lifestyle shop" right next to the bongs. Then you can do a Christmas walk on the boardwalk and watch people surf. Surfing is very Christmasy, I might even go get a Christmas tatoo after yoga one day this week.

Opposite rain!

Today it is raining outside! It is odd because it almost never rains here, and when it does it usually does it at night so you can't really see it. But today it has been raining all day! I'm cooped up in the office but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate the rain. At lunch I took a long walk in the rain and just loved the feel of it hitting my face. It's odd I know but I love rain and it brings back lots of fantastic memories, one of the reservations I had about moving out here was that it doesn't rain much so a day like today is amazing. People out here have no idea how to drive in the rain, it's even worse then when it snowed in DC. And that is saying a lot. But I love it all the same.

The last two days have been like opposite days for me. It's raining today, which is opposite. Yesterday I went to the driving range and I could hit my 7, 3, and 8 irons, and couldn't touch my 4, 6, and 9 irons. I also couldn't hit my driver (which is normal) but for whatever reason I went out and crushed my 5 wood without teeing it up. Which is a minor miracle for whomever has watched me hit my 5 wood. At night I parellell parked my gigantic car in a small space! Which is also uncommon since I always have trouble with its size. I felt really good about myself after that, it was perfect, I should have taken a photo!

Yesterday was also the first time in years I set foot in a gym to wrestle. My friend and I rolled around for about an hour, and I'd forgotten how much fun it is! I was sure I'd never wrestle again, not with the knee and ankle problems anyway. But today I find myself sore but ok except for the brutal mat burn on my knee. Defintely wearing kneepads next time. But all in all the last two days has been so much opposite of what I normally do! Maybe I should go play the lottery! Well going to wrestle was basically playing the lottery, but I will be going again soon!

I'm ruined! All ruined!

Ruined I tell you! I had it all planned out, which is a rarerity for me when it comes to this stuff. All of my leave was planned to the end of the year so that I didn't lose any of it down to the minute (well actually I was going to lose 15 minutes). You see, the way government time off works I can only carry over 6 weeks of time off into the new year. 7 of my remaining 37.15 hours were used this last week when my mother was visiting last week (which was fun by the way). Twenty-seven (27) of the remaining hours were going to be spent on the couple days I'm going back to DC for the holidays, 9 hours on the 24th to fly, the 26th I had off because it's my alternate Friday, and another 18 on Monday and Tuesday of the week after. Then I had 3.15 hours and I was going to take the Friday afternoon of january 2nd off to dick around. But now the president signed out this: http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2008/12/20081212-2.html

What that essentially means is that now I get wed. off because I would have had Friday off as well and thus have an extra 9 hours I need to use between now and the 3rd of January. And I know it's silly for me to complain about this situation but I was so proud of myself for actually planning out how I was going to use my time. I rarely do plan out vacations ahead of time, usually it is very last minute. But I've actually had the end of my year planned for 4 months! Which in Marty years is like an eternity. So now I'm stuck with having to beg my boss to let me take another day off. JEEZ WHY IS LIFE SO TOUGH ALL THE TIME! Also I'd really like one of my plans to go the way I want to, just once.

Building Skynet

Lots of people have seen the Terminator movies and are aware of the fictional defense computer system that becomes aware and tries to destroy the human race. It's essentially the same thing as 'The Matrix" movies and a bunch of other science fiction movies. The gist of all of them are that when the computer becomes self aware, it automatically tries to defend itself from humans, thus causing the enslavement of the human race. What everyone should learn from all this is that nobody should build any of these self aware systems so they don't end up destroying the world as we know it, because we aren't doing that on our own.

But what most people don't realize, is that we are developing the SKYNET program and funding its growth. That's right, the U.S. Navy is developing the system that destroys humanity, and I'm one of the Financial Analysts that are going to approve this development. This makes me somewhat directly linked to the extinction of the human race. I think I might put that on my resume... "SKYNET enabler/Anti-Human aficionado". Some people might be wary that they were helping to start the fall of civilization, I'm proud. If you are curious what SKYNET actually does, here's a short description:

"The Skynet program allows for near term augmentation of the Satellite Communications by leasing multiple channels on the Intelsat's Skynet fleet. The program will provide the DoD with region specific UHF narrowband communications to all Navy ships, command and control networks, and tactical on the ground mobile war fighters. It will also enable all ships, command and control facilities, and equipped tactical units continuous voice and data communications access regardless of environmental conditions and terrain. "

It's basically a communications program, one that will someday evolve and become self aware artificial intelligence which then launches nuclear missiles at all major human cities. Fun stuff! Looking forward to it! You would think that whomever named this program has quite a sense of humor. Whatever the case, I'm happy to commit my time to making sure the Skynet program works and launches smoothly and efficiently. And just remember, the United States is not only aware that they are building Skynet, but they are actively looking for ways to improve and streamline the program, efficiency is everything folks! Go robots! All hail our new robot overlords.

What I got scolded for today

Today is "yearly cleanup day" at my office. Meaning that we're throwing out all the old papers and binders and garbage that clog up your typical office. We were told in advance to wear jeans and casual clothes for all the cleaning that we would be doing. I of course forgot and am wearing a suit and shirt with no tie (because I'm lazy). So I've been repeatedly scolded for being too dressed up for cleanup day :( I think the problem was I was too distracted by my entire body being sore from yesterday. Abs class is the most painful thing ever to happen in the history of the world, I'm sure that by comparison, childbirth is a cakewalk. But apparently dressing up nice for cleanup day is a way to receive scorn from multiple co-workers. Sigh

The other way to receive scorn is to apparently do work while cleaning day is happening. I usually have a few things to do in the morning that are like daily reports, I do them every morning pretty much first thing and I get in trouble if I don't do them. But today I was asked, "Marty, are you working while everyone else is cleaning!" Seriously, c'mon. I've worked here 5 months, I don't hold much paper around my desk, it's not that hard of a cleanup for me. I will help anywhere else that needs help but I do have some work to do first. Obviously I don't get the point of cleanup day, or at least I'm a rebel without a cause when it comes to this day amongst days. Sorry that I have some actual work I need to take care of in the first 2 hours of the day that will prevent me from doing any of the cleaning I have to not do since I already did it and I obviously don't have the next 8 hours to help.

Here's a picture of two lobsters knife-fighting to prove my point:

Amusing little sister

My sister Elizabeth posted this on Facebook:
"I never write notes. I hope this goes on minifeed because anyone with any interest in spider drawings should read this. it made me fall off my chair laughing. its the sort of thing my brother would appreciate. so if he's reading this he should definately look at it.
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665847
wait for it...there's a follow up:
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665808 "


This is not the first time in recorded history this has happened. Bartering is a skill not quite dead, although apparently corporate entities don't appreciate such things. Also you should be careful about falling off your chair in the future. Also that is a cute spider.

Children, the best workout

I submit to you that the best possible workout in the world, is playing tag with children on a playground. It will force you to sprint, jump, twist, turn, flail and contort through various obstacles that you don't really fit through. The first thing you will notice is that your body hasn't moved that way in years, in fact, it may call into question whether you were ever able to perform some of the moves required to chase an 8 year old. I don't care if you are a gymnast or a fitness expert, or some ungodly combination of the two, I defy you to try and lunge at a small child for more than a minute without getting tired. It won't happen, you will be tired and sweaty within 20 seconds. The children however will not be tired at all, they will still have the same relative level of enthusiasm and energy after an hour, as they did when the game began. Which is frankly disheartening, since you will want a break pretty much whenever you can get one. The next day you will be sore, oh god how you will be sore.

But at the end of the day you will have fun, and it will be a great workout. You will dominate as well because no matter how tricky these little punks are they can't match your height, speed, and reach. So what you do is let the little kids, or the girls who can't catch anyone easily tag you and you go after the hotshot 8 year olds who think they are untouchable. Seriously guys, I'm 25, I'm going to catch you even if I can't run up the twisty slide or go through the small openings very easily. Eventually I'm going to chase you to the ground and then it's a footrace, and you will lose. Then you won't be able to claim that nobody can catch you while you tag a girl who is more interested in her pink shoes than the game. Then the cycle repeats itself and ends with you getting destroyed by a man almost 20 years older then you. This is my playground son, don't mess with the master.

I know what your thinking, ahh that pedophile Marty was out playing with kids over the weekend! How fun. But truthfully I was in San Jose visiting my uncle for Thanksgiving. He has two precocious children aged 8 and 6 and a stepson aged 16. The stepson is a mere 6'3" and 300 lbs, he played JV football this year and let me tell you, if I was his coach I would be salivating at the prospect of getting this kid on my team for the next three years, he's a monster. But his younger siblings are really cute and polite. All in all I had fun up in San Jose. It was like a more overcast, slightly colder, slightly more populated San Diego. It's funny how things change when you are at someone else's house for the holidays. They have their own rituals or in this case, they have not yet developed said rituals since the kids are so young. But it was pretty nice and I'm glad I got to go somewhere instead of staying here by myself.

Getting to hang around the kids for a couple of days reinforced my desire to have kids some day. I don't know how I'll go about it, since you have to like, find someone to have children with if you are going to do it properly. But I think they are lots of work, and completely worth it, or at least it seems that way. But I think it's all worth it when I take them t the playground and destroy them playing tag. It will be a great workout, and then I will be sore the next day. But if you do it often enough you could get into some kind of shape that is not round.