It's one of those frustrating days today, one of those days where it has just been shit thusfar. I've got plenty to do, no question there, piles and piles and piles of work to be done. But every ounce of it is taking longer then I thought, I can't tell whether I'm just dragging or if I just didn't budget my time correctly. Either way going through all these assignments I have is like wading through a molasses swimming pool but not nearly as sugary. In a way it's nice because it makes the day go by faster but it's also frustrating since it means I'll have to work late again. Ugh.
The second reason my day has continued to go downhill is that I rode my bike in. Which is great and despite it being pretty cold this morning it was lots of fun and good for me. But it now creates complications. I have basically worked through lunch most of the last two weeks, which isn't bad but it gets boring. It makes you feel like you haven't left your desk in ages and today I wanted to actually go out to lunch (despite my lack of time to do so) since I hadn't left my desk in 48 hours. But since I rode my bike I would have to rely on others to go out to lunch, and that's where the being so busy came into play. I was too busy to notice the time and that everyone has stepped out for lunch. Ok so that's no big deal I can just get lunch at the deli on base and eat at my desk like normal. Except for the fact that I have no cash, and they don't take credit cards, and the atm across the street is out of order. So now instead of eating lunch alone at my desk I'm writing this blog post at my desk alone with nothing to eat. Pretty goddamn pathetic and I've got nobody to blame but myself.
On top of all of this having a bad day just gets my mind spinning. What do I have to go home to after this long day? I'll go to the gym, I'll clean my room, I'll sit in bed for hours until I fall asleep at 3 AM, get my 2 hours of sleep, and back to work tomorrow. I guess that shouldn't really get me down, it's been quite some time since I've had anything to look forward to about my everyday life. And to be frank I should probably expect things to remain the same, but it's somewhat depressing to think about that. I like responsibility and all those types of things I just have a very little going on in my life to be responsible for. Anyhow that's all the time I have to moan and groan and be self serving, I need to get back to work. No punchline today, just bad feelings for my bad mood.
Oh also a guy in my office dropped nearly dead in a meeting with a bunch of people this morning. He's in the hospital now and the question is how much brain damage he sustained. So there's that which is a big scary as well.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
California Radio
One of the first things I noticed when I got out here was how much better the radio stations were out here than in DC. I know what you are saying, why would anyone still listen to the radio? Doesn't everyone have satellite radio or an Ipod or a bunch of CD's? Get with the times Jenkins! Well I don't have satellite radio and my Ipod got stolen like a year ago and I don't listen to CD's that much. So take that! So when I'm in the car I listen to the radio, and the stations here are so much better, more variety, better DJ's, and they have unique programming. The station I listen to the most, 94.9, plays rock/alternative stuff and they play all the current hits but they also play obscure B-sides from albums that weren't a band's most well known. It makes for fun listening those few times when I'm in the car with the radio on (I always have the radio on in the car, I just am rarely in the car).
The best is on Friday mornings (the few times I've caught it) when they have a Blues hour, and they play really old Blues tunes. It's so cool. I could listen to old Blues recordings forever, and when I mean old I mean like 1920's, dirty south, poor black guy waiting for a train blues. I think it's the greatest ever. The thing is though, that if there was a station dedicated to playing just old school blues jams, I might never listen to it. An hour is great, but I would never stop on a station long enough to hear that it was a Blues station. And I just don't meet enough radio aficionados to hear about anything like that. It's a shame I'm so singular in my radio tastes but then again it's not a medium I experience often. I don't actively listen to the radio at home, only when I'm in the car, and on an average week I'm in the car less than an hour a week. Stil I really like the radio here and maybe I should take more advantage of that (I can't listen to it at work).
The radio seems to be a dwindling medium, much like Newspapers. I think that like the morning paper, it will be around in some form forever. But it's only going to become less and less used and listened to. Soon no channel will have any character and they will all be these massive clear channel conglomerates. Shame but that's the way the world works. I will just have to enjoy my Friday blues hour whenever I get a chance. I'm certainly enjoying the fact that San Diego has such cool radio stations, and people, and places, and weather, etc, etc.
The best is on Friday mornings (the few times I've caught it) when they have a Blues hour, and they play really old Blues tunes. It's so cool. I could listen to old Blues recordings forever, and when I mean old I mean like 1920's, dirty south, poor black guy waiting for a train blues. I think it's the greatest ever. The thing is though, that if there was a station dedicated to playing just old school blues jams, I might never listen to it. An hour is great, but I would never stop on a station long enough to hear that it was a Blues station. And I just don't meet enough radio aficionados to hear about anything like that. It's a shame I'm so singular in my radio tastes but then again it's not a medium I experience often. I don't actively listen to the radio at home, only when I'm in the car, and on an average week I'm in the car less than an hour a week. Stil I really like the radio here and maybe I should take more advantage of that (I can't listen to it at work).
The radio seems to be a dwindling medium, much like Newspapers. I think that like the morning paper, it will be around in some form forever. But it's only going to become less and less used and listened to. Soon no channel will have any character and they will all be these massive clear channel conglomerates. Shame but that's the way the world works. I will just have to enjoy my Friday blues hour whenever I get a chance. I'm certainly enjoying the fact that San Diego has such cool radio stations, and people, and places, and weather, etc, etc.
Urgent!!!! On a friday
So today I got a request from an office in Washington that was extremely urgent, so urgent in fact that we have to get in a response for something that could have like a $60 Million dollar impact by close of business eastern standard time. Which any other day would be like 2 PM my time. But on a Friday it's like 12, which wouldn't have been a problem if we had gotten the request last night. Instead we got it this morning at about 10 AM. 2 hour turnaround, on a Friday, ~$60 Mil. Smart huh? Not to mention the most important factor which is that a significant portion of people won't be here. In it being the most common day for workers to take off most government employees are on a 9 day schedule, working an extra hour 8 out of 10 working days and getting the 10th day off. So roughly less than 50% of the workforce is here today and we have this urgent request for information that probably requires input from 50-100 people in 2 hours.
I'm not blaming the Navy Financial Management and Budget office (FMB) that asked for this data, I'm blaming the Office of the Secretary of Defense, who asked them for this. Like, if this was truly that important, and to be fair $60M isn't that much money in the grand scheme of things, OSD would have asked for this on Thursday. Or they would have asked for it by next week, not by today. What do these people have no lives? It's ridiculous and apparently they asked for even more from FMB. It's just dumb, like why did they wait for the last minute to ask for this information? Why did they not send out a memo a week ago asking for it today? Why did they not give me $60M? Why can I not seem to get behind the new Guns and Roses song? it just sounds so damn electronic and generic. I mean c'mon you had 180000 years to make this album, how about having a title track that makes sense or has good lyrics, not some terrible electronic mess.
I'm not blaming the Navy Financial Management and Budget office (FMB) that asked for this data, I'm blaming the Office of the Secretary of Defense, who asked them for this. Like, if this was truly that important, and to be fair $60M isn't that much money in the grand scheme of things, OSD would have asked for this on Thursday. Or they would have asked for it by next week, not by today. What do these people have no lives? It's ridiculous and apparently they asked for even more from FMB. It's just dumb, like why did they wait for the last minute to ask for this information? Why did they not send out a memo a week ago asking for it today? Why did they not give me $60M? Why can I not seem to get behind the new Guns and Roses song? it just sounds so damn electronic and generic. I mean c'mon you had 180000 years to make this album, how about having a title track that makes sense or has good lyrics, not some terrible electronic mess.
Monday, October 20, 2008
What I want today
I thought at some point before lunch that I would like to swim in a pool filled with gummy bears. But after further reflection I realized that not only would I not like to do that, but that it would be really weird. First of all you would get all sugary and gross. Yuck. Second, you wuold never be able to eat gummie bears again. Third, if you accidently ended up getting those gummy bears that are kinda a little bit chalky it would like make you choke and dry out your skin while making it slimy. I guess I should have thought this plan through, because in addition to not being fun, the cleanup would be hell. How do you dispose of a pool full of gummy? Eat it all? Who wants to eat gummy bears that I've swam in? You can't just let it sit. Ugh this project is getting worse all the time. Sometimes I even wonder if it's worth it.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
I forgot an extra shirt today
I forgot to pack a workout shirt for the gym today. Which effectively means I can't work out at lunch. Which makes my day feel 45 minutes longer since I'll spend time sitting at my desk rather than working out. Which sucks because working out makes me relax and it's good for me, plus anything to make the day go by faster is always helpful, even though there aren't enough hours in the day as is. Basically I'm just pissed at myself for forgetting something. Sometimes I think that I need 1000 checklists in life so that I don't forget anything. I almost forget my wallet every day...EVEY DAY! Sometimes my forgetfullness can be very detrimental and today is no exception. I need checklists or something, maybe a robot that hands me things as I go out the door. Also I need instant grocery lists that come up on my cell phone since I always forget the ones I make at home.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Why am I here
It's not a super deep question, it's not about why am I here on this plane of existence or some other metaphysical psychological nonsense. But in a very direct way it is a question of why am I here, at work today, on my day off. Is there some higher purpose for which I have arrived in this place? Is there some being above me that has some task in mind for me to complete? And if that's the case why hasn't this higher power shown themselves and told me what I should be doing here. Am I supposed to be some pawn in a real life cosmic game of chess? What am I doing here!
It could be something so simple, maybe I'm just a small piece of an intergalactic puzzle that involves me being at work today. Or maybe, I am the puzzle, and the only way people can figure me out is by making me do tasks on my day off. Maybe the world is complicated and I'm supposed to be on some quest, or complete some errand that sets all things back into balance, today, and not on monday. I guess in many ways I'll never know the truth. I could just be here as a spec on someones windshield or maybe the whole office revolves around me. It is certainly going to take someone with a much deeper understanding of life to have me figure out why I'm here today.
It could be something so simple, maybe I'm just a small piece of an intergalactic puzzle that involves me being at work today. Or maybe, I am the puzzle, and the only way people can figure me out is by making me do tasks on my day off. Maybe the world is complicated and I'm supposed to be on some quest, or complete some errand that sets all things back into balance, today, and not on monday. I guess in many ways I'll never know the truth. I could just be here as a spec on someones windshield or maybe the whole office revolves around me. It is certainly going to take someone with a much deeper understanding of life to have me figure out why I'm here today.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Performance Appraisal
So today I wrote my performance appraisal. I hate doing this, I just hate it. It is sometimes arbitrary boasting about things I did during the last 4 months. At first you think what have I done since I've been here? Then as you get near the character limit on it you realize you've done more things then you've got room for. So you have to pick and choose what was more important, "Well christ beating those clowns to death outside of the men's locker room was pretty important, but was it more important then staging that fake archery contest so that I could assassinate the Duke of Istanbul?" It's a tough call, especially when you have to work in language that makes you sound stupid but shows that yes, you did your job instead of surfing the net all day for pictures of a Matt Damon impersonator or lookalike. I mean in my case I have technical proficiency objectives but some of them are so easy that it hurts for me to say. For example, "Taught other employees how to successfully use PBIS to receive queries, updated folder on how to navigate PBIS for new employees. Provided training for new employees on PBIS use and acronym knowledge." That may sound like a mouthful but other then the teaching part if I couldn't use PBIS then I would be executed or fired.
The point is that even if I think I'm not doing great at work, sometimes the bar is set so low that I can blow the objective out of the water. I honestly think that in most cases, I destroyed parts of my job well beyond expectations and there's no way I shouldn't receive a top rating. Especially given that I was only here for 4 months before the end of the year. I mean the amount of things I've accomplished since I got here are pretty staggering when you look at them on a whole. Which is good because as I've said before I'm not good at much in my life but since my job is just about the only important obligation I have I had better be damn good at that. At least I try to be. But sometimes I'm not sure if it shows how good I am, so I have to try and write it up in bullet points to convince people I'm excellent at my job?
I used to put in a bullet or two of humor items in my year end write-up back at ONR. You know stupid things like, "Came to work with hair combed over 60% of the time". I thought it was funny and made sure that whomever was reading them would actually read them (they always did). But now I'm in a new system out here where what I wrote actually goes to someone other then my direct supervisor and so the fun bullets get dropped. So that sucks, and I'm sad I don't get to do that anymore. While I was doing this whole bullshitty mess I realized how not cool it would be to have to do a end of the year appraisal to someone at a higher level of life than you. Mine would be completely worthless, or amazing, depending on who was reading it.
Fiscal Year 2008 Marty Jenkins Accomplishments:
- Not once did I eat a staple, not even when I was hungry.
- Stayed in a darkened room masturbating for a couple hours while thinking what kind of nacho cheese I wanted on my burrito at lunch.
- Almost never daydreamed about riding a horse while sitting in staff meetings.
- Never got caught checking out a hot chick at the gym beyond a reasonable amount as decided by my peers or supervisors.
- Did not crash my car or anyone else's car, only crashed one blimp.
- Successfully maintained auto insurance despite slothfulness.
- Never once coveted my neighbors wife. Not at all.
- Watched sports on the couch in only boxers when nobody else was home only a dozen times.
- Completed and oversaw the construction of an IKEA desk with minimal damage to my person and the desk.
- Only answered the front door in my underwear once, and it was a guy trying to sell me cable and phone service so I felt completely justified.
- Communicated with others in a normal fashion except for that one girl I liked who I stalked and put letters under her door and wrote messages on her windshield while she was sleeping.
- Wanted to run down less than 25 children under the age of 15.
- Wanted to run down more then 60 children under the age of 20 and over the age of 15.
- Ate a whole pizza when I was really hungry.
- Did not give away any of this nation's secrets, also did not divulge any of Blue's Clues.
- Moved across the country and didn't even eat at McDonald's once during the trip.
- Never invited a Jehovah's Witness into the house just so that I had someone to play video games against.
- Only one traffic ticket, and I didn't deserve that one.
- Did not punch any birds, no matter how much they might have deserved it.
- Did not fail any math or science tests.
- Did not pass any math or science tests.
- Did not get called out in front of the entire command that one day during the all hands when I was wearing a shirt pants and tie combination that did not match.
- Never financed a war against a school of dolphins.
- Financed a underground war against the makers of Play-doh for their making such a delicious and yet toxic product.
- Did not kill Santa Claus, despite popular rumors.
- I successfully made it through an entire year without having any eggplant.
- Only came to work without showering first once or twice.
- Did not steal a jet pilot costume so that I could commander a jet, did steal a helicopter pilot outfit but I gave it back pre-joyride.
- Always checked myself before I wrickity wrecked myself.
The point is that even if I think I'm not doing great at work, sometimes the bar is set so low that I can blow the objective out of the water. I honestly think that in most cases, I destroyed parts of my job well beyond expectations and there's no way I shouldn't receive a top rating. Especially given that I was only here for 4 months before the end of the year. I mean the amount of things I've accomplished since I got here are pretty staggering when you look at them on a whole. Which is good because as I've said before I'm not good at much in my life but since my job is just about the only important obligation I have I had better be damn good at that. At least I try to be. But sometimes I'm not sure if it shows how good I am, so I have to try and write it up in bullet points to convince people I'm excellent at my job?
I used to put in a bullet or two of humor items in my year end write-up back at ONR. You know stupid things like, "Came to work with hair combed over 60% of the time". I thought it was funny and made sure that whomever was reading them would actually read them (they always did). But now I'm in a new system out here where what I wrote actually goes to someone other then my direct supervisor and so the fun bullets get dropped. So that sucks, and I'm sad I don't get to do that anymore. While I was doing this whole bullshitty mess I realized how not cool it would be to have to do a end of the year appraisal to someone at a higher level of life than you. Mine would be completely worthless, or amazing, depending on who was reading it.
Fiscal Year 2008 Marty Jenkins Accomplishments:
- Not once did I eat a staple, not even when I was hungry.
- Stayed in a darkened room masturbating for a couple hours while thinking what kind of nacho cheese I wanted on my burrito at lunch.
- Almost never daydreamed about riding a horse while sitting in staff meetings.
- Never got caught checking out a hot chick at the gym beyond a reasonable amount as decided by my peers or supervisors.
- Did not crash my car or anyone else's car, only crashed one blimp.
- Successfully maintained auto insurance despite slothfulness.
- Never once coveted my neighbors wife. Not at all.
- Watched sports on the couch in only boxers when nobody else was home only a dozen times.
- Completed and oversaw the construction of an IKEA desk with minimal damage to my person and the desk.
- Only answered the front door in my underwear once, and it was a guy trying to sell me cable and phone service so I felt completely justified.
- Communicated with others in a normal fashion except for that one girl I liked who I stalked and put letters under her door and wrote messages on her windshield while she was sleeping.
- Wanted to run down less than 25 children under the age of 15.
- Wanted to run down more then 60 children under the age of 20 and over the age of 15.
- Ate a whole pizza when I was really hungry.
- Did not give away any of this nation's secrets, also did not divulge any of Blue's Clues.
- Moved across the country and didn't even eat at McDonald's once during the trip.
- Never invited a Jehovah's Witness into the house just so that I had someone to play video games against.
- Only one traffic ticket, and I didn't deserve that one.
- Did not punch any birds, no matter how much they might have deserved it.
- Did not fail any math or science tests.
- Did not pass any math or science tests.
- Did not get called out in front of the entire command that one day during the all hands when I was wearing a shirt pants and tie combination that did not match.
- Never financed a war against a school of dolphins.
- Financed a underground war against the makers of Play-doh for their making such a delicious and yet toxic product.
- Did not kill Santa Claus, despite popular rumors.
- I successfully made it through an entire year without having any eggplant.
- Only came to work without showering first once or twice.
- Did not steal a jet pilot costume so that I could commander a jet, did steal a helicopter pilot outfit but I gave it back pre-joyride.
- Always checked myself before I wrickity wrecked myself.
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