So I walked into the men's room this morning to wash my hands (which I do like 4000000 times a day) there was a new friend in there. It was a huge cockroach. So naturally I struck up a conversation, turns out his name is Pete, the cockroach, which is what I called him because I have other friends named Pete and I wouldn't want to get them confused. He mostly scuttles around for a living, infesting this old building I work in. He called me Marty, the human, presumably so he could tell me apart from some other friend of his named Marty (another cockroach). We chatted for awhile and decided to go out to lunch sometime, and now in retrospect I feel kinda silly because I have no ideas what cockroaches eat...I mean generally I'm down for anything but what if he wants to go get greasy fried food. I hate eating greasy fried food when I'm at work...
Seriously though, that's one big cockroach.
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