Kinds of People

A man once told me, "There are two kinds of people in this world, those who tie their shoelaces every time they put on their shoes, and those that leave them tied so they can slip them on again easily." The moment he said that I thought it was very profound, a deep look into the human spirit and a broad sweeping generalization of the world. The statement was brilliant in its simplicity but divine in its elegance and meaning. That lasted about two seconds before I started poking holes in his theory.

"What about people who wear sandals? They don't tie their shoes."
"I'm sorry what?"
"And what about the people who don't wear shoes. Because there are plenty of people in the world who don't have sneakers or anything with laces."
"I think you are being too literal minded about this."
"I think you are a fraud! There are way more then two types of people in this world when it comes to how they wear their shoes, you need to shape up or ship out buddy"

It was at that point that the bartender gave me another beer and I went over to the corner by myself to cry. My image of a duality world theory shattered once again. Here are some other theories that I have seen put to rest very quickly, they all start with, "There are two types of people in this world..."

"doers' and 'watchers'..."
Oh yeah what about people who assist the doers but don't actually do things themselves, and what about people who just plain don't care.

"those who accept dogma and know it, and those who accept dogma and don't know it." - G.K. Chesterton
I would like to point out that there is in fact people who know dogma and don't accept it, they're called atheists, deal with it."

"good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. "- Woody Allen
Funny, but wrong nonetheless.

"those who do the work and those who take the credit." - Indira Gandhi
Oh yeah? What about those people who don't do any work and don't care about getting the credit, there are plenty of people who find their niche and just sit tight. They don't worry about credit or not.

"one uneducated and coarse, which always places utility before honor, and the other, humane and civilized, which places honor before everything." - Cicero
Frankly there are people who outright just don't care about honor or utility, but some of the most honorable people I know never stepped foot in a school.

"those that like Candy Corn and those that don't"
In my case I sometimes like candy corn, sometimes I find it repulsive.

" those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't."
What if I think there are sometimes two kinds of people and in other regards there are not...

The only statement I have ever found to be applicable is from South Park, say what you will about them, but sometimes they hit the nail on the head. "There are only two types of kids in this world, those who like Animaniacs and those who don't, which one are you?" You may never have seen Animaniacs, but rest assured if you did, you would either like it, or dislike it. There may be no more polarizing force in the universe.