How to limp when both legs are hurt

Somehow I managed to injure both my ankles. I'm amazing, I know. So now when I walk around the office it is an all together painful experience coupled with the fact that I have no idea how to limp with both steps of my stride. I look like a godamn zombie walking around because my steps are all paused and slow. I should get someone to put zombie makeup on me for tomorrow. I need like a cart or a wheelchair... It's so pathetic that a 25 year old is constantly limping one way or another, or in this case not limping because both his legs are injured. I may not make it to 30 after all. In which case there will be much rejoicing.