Of pens and men

I should probably be a little less cavalier with my pen twirling displays during meetings. Barring that I need to make sure my pen is closed so that when I screw up, it doesn't leave a mark. However this is all important knowledge for the future, what we are chiefly concerned with is the past. Very specifically this afternoon during my meeting about Congress and the Defense Budget at about 1430 EST.

There I was, casually feigning interest while playing with my pen when disaster struck. I dropped my pen and it sailed like a life ruining missile toward my cream colored pants. Before I had a chance to shriek in horror or move the pen impacted my crotch and left an inch and a half long black mark (a mark which is considerably longer than anything else in that particular area of my body, BOOYA, take that me...). Classy move right? Luckily nobody saw it happen so I sat out the rest of the contemplating my next move. I had to clean off this pen mark, but what was the best way to do so while embarrassing my female coworkers? My simple plan was hatched immediately.

I procured some paper towels from the men's room and used my trusty bottle of water to try and cleanse the mark. For those of you who have never tried to clean something from your groin area, it looks similar to someone playing with themselves. So I proceeded to wipe my crotch area vigorously while telling my co-worker who sits across from me to not call security, because I wasn't doing anything inappropriate. Little did I know that at least one other co-worker would walk by my desk while I was doing this...

In the end I guess it's ok that the office thinks I need to pleasure myself in the middle of the day, I mean it's not like that's a stigma that can stay with me or anything. As a beneficial side effect it looks like I peed my pants because of the water I used, so I've got that going, which is nice. I just hope that someone calls me to their office for something urgent, I'll fly around the corner as fast as I can and hope that my pants are the first thing they focus on. That way all they can think about when I'm in their office is that they needed the urgent advice of a grown man who has wet himself at work.

Worst part is, the pen mark is still there.