Why the rush?

So today I found myself being incredibly impatient with people. As soon as I got out of work I had to rush to the gym, on the way there I was upset that people were walking slowly on the sidewalk, and I walked quickly past them with disdain. I didn't even enjoy the nice day outside because I was in such a rush. There were also some good looking women on the walk to the gym, goodness knows I was far to busy hustling to the gym to observe much.

When I got to the gym I was peeved that I had to wait behind an elderly gentleman descending the stairs slower then I would have liked. I guess it was just that urgent that I began my workout and I couldn't even show a little bit of patience for father time just trying to limp his way down the stairs. When my friend of all people was occupying the piece of equipment I wanted halfway through the workout, I tried to hurry him along, again no apparent reason why I felt the need to hurry. In fact I called him a sissy and told him to do the lift correctly.

On the way home I moved in front of people, telling them, "Excuse me" on the escalator on the way into the metro. I couldn't just sit still and wait an extra 5 seconds to reach the bottom. When I got off the metro I had to rush past everyone so I could get home faster. I probably bumped someone and didn't even know it, I certainly didn't apologize to anyone I might have bumped. But on the long walk home I got to thinking, what the hell is my problem.

I didn't have anyone waiting at home for me, no kids, no wife, no girlfriend, no fiance, no nothing. I wasn't expecting any urgent news or some kind of message I had waiting for me. I didn't have to do anything tonight, no plans, no date, no meeting. So intent was I with rushing around this afternoon that I would have pushed my own grandmother down some stairs just to get home a little quicker. But why? There's nothing on TV I wanted to watch, I wasn't hungry or tired, there's not some video game I want to play or a book I want to read. So now I'm left with a profound feeling of disappointment in myself, disappointment in my behavior and my attitude. And what's worse, I'm bored because I have so much time on my hands. There's nothing to do tonight, nothing at all in the world. And all I could do was blow past people like I'm some man on a mission to go somewhere. Guess I'm just that kind of jerk and it makes me feel really stupid that I had to be so pushy.