Angels

On monday someone called me and told me that I should watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. I didn't really want to but then after much badgering she made me agree to watch it and take notes. I'm quite thankful that she suggested such a thing. There's something strange about a single guy watching a lingerie fashion show by himself, something that is akin to a guy looking at porn alone. Not quite as bad but not exactly within the normal lines of what is deemed acceptable. Then again it was on network television so I guess socially accepted norms are somewhat out the window in this case. Regardless I didn't feel like being some scumbag ogling pretty girls with my hands down my pants (it's comfortable, don't ask) so I forced two of my roomates to watch it with me (the couple I live with, not the other two guys). Needless to say I kept being silly the whole time with my never ending running commentary that included catty comments about the models and the ridiculous wings they were wearing and criticizing various pieces of clothing. All in all it was pretty funny for me to pretend that perhaps some of these models weren't that attractive or acceptable by my standards. The truth is that although the typical model physique isn't my preference, there's no way in hell that if any of those 6 ft. + tall stunning women asked me to dance that I would turn them down.

After watching the show I had several thoughts which I will attempt to relate here through my words...in typical blog fashion...(quick Marty disguise your poor writing with a cute picture of a cat!)

(Ahh yes, the kitten mellow, an excellent distraction! Surely that will dissuede anyone from thinking you are weird for writing a blog about women's underwear!)

What does it say about your lingerie and fashion in general when the wings you have the models wear are actually cooler and more interesting then the outfits? I mean some of those wings were really spectacular and must have taken forever to imagine or put together. I kept wondering what they were really trying to sell to the viewer. I mean it seems to me that there probably isn't THAT much of a call for exotic or outlandish wings to wear with your lingerie. "Gosh honey, it's really nice that you put on all this incredibly enticing underwear for me, but you know that I can't be fully aroused without you also wearing ever more extravagant sets of wings to match." I'm not saying that this conversation doesn't happen, but I think most men would a) be happy enough that they were getting some and b) be especially pleased that their partner felt the need to dress up in something particularly tantalizing without the addition of wings. Which is not to say that lingerie is just for men's enjoyment, far from it, but I don't typically wear super expensive nice underwear so it is hard for me to extol the virtues of wearing some of these things from a women's perspective. But I'm sure there is something to be said for wearing lingerie in a non-bedroom setting, I just have no experience with it...as far as I'm going to reveal. On the other hand you certainly don't see women walking around town wearing wings that you saw on the Victoria's Secret Fashion show along with their business suits and stockings. Although to be fair that would give people a better idea of the undergarments a woman might be wearing. But what if she was wearing a really old pair of wings, or even worse, wings that were from last season's catalogue? That opens up a world of questions I'm just not prepared to comment on.

I thought that the Spice Girls are actually much better looking now as a whole then they were 10 years ago. I mean there are exceptions but the group as a whole looks pretty good and in my opinion it doesn't hurt that some of them have put on some weight. It seems to me though that if you are going to sing at a holiday fashion show you ought to somehow make your costumes fashionable, or holidayy (holidayie, holidayesque, holidayeeeee). Instead they optioned to wear some form of pseudo-military costume that left me wondering why they were wearing it. Even their backup dancers were dressed in military uniforms and yet I had trouble making the connection. Also I expected them to sing "In the Navy" or something military related (sing is a relative word because it seemed to me that they were pretty obviously lip-synching) maybe something holiday related, instead they chose an arbitrary song from their past about what they needed in a guy. The whole "including the Spice Girls" gimmick seemed a bit confusing to me, I mean was that supposed to draw in extra viewers? Where does the "Victoria's Secret fashion show model watcher" segment juxtapose with the "Spice Girls fans"? I'm not sure how one drives the other, unless listening to the Spice Girls croon makes you want to go out and buy lingerie.

The lingerie itself was nice I guess, if somewhat uninspired. Some of it I would go so far as to call uninspired, ordinary, run-of-the-mill, mediocre, and average (thank you thesaurus). I mean it's somewhat crass of me to call any lingerie unimaginative but this is supposed to be really prime stuff, and some of it was, but quite a bit was less than what I would think is up to standards, there were one or two pieces that I thought was straight out of a bland Fredrick's of Hollywood store. Great way to save costs to be sure, but somewhat difficult to pass off in a fashion show to the discerning eye (and trust me I have an extremely discerning eye when it comes to women's underwear!!!!!). Some things were spectacular and made me wish that I got to see someone in an intimate way wear that for me (plus the wings obviously because I just can't be impressed by an attractive woman wearing only special underwear) but I was less impressed by those pieces as I was shocked by the stupid looking pieces. Also I should point out how much it makes me cringe to see the cost of a piece of string with a small patch of cloth attached to it, but hey, some times you just have to live as frivolously as possible.

This show also reminded me how long it's been since I was able to see someone wearing these kinds of outfits for my benefit. Jesus Christ it's been awhile and that's as sobering an indictment of my personal life as any. Not that it would be something I ever expect out of someone who was with me, it's just been awhile. And as I was reminded when I was told about the show, maybe it's time to relent and go buy myself some "love". I think they hang out on "L" street.