So there I was, sitting in a dive bar at 9 in the morning saturday morning in Las Vegas eating breakfast. It was a nice little place well off the strip and the food was fantastic. On my left was my friend and this girl he'd met the night before, on my right was my new life coach. Yes as I sat there eating my delicious breakfast (and it was fucking fantastic) the drunk man at the bar next to me started talking to me. It turned out that this guy was a retired Cirque du Soleil actor and former Olympic gymnast from Romania.
Turns out Marius had won a bronze medal in the highbar at the Seoul Olympics and had placed 15th in the overall competition, he also competed in Barcelona. After that he went and worked for Cirque du Soleil for 10 years. But on this particular day he took to the time to explain to me what was wrong with my fitness plans, which sports he liked and why I shouldn't like Manchester United. In the space of 20 minutes he insulted my workouts, my sports teams, my choice of athletic endeavors, and which MMA fighters I liked. All in all it was a humbling yet wonderful experience that ended slightly prematurely (like all my sexual experiences) when his wife came into the bar and dragged his drunk ass out to the car.
However in the wake of this encounter it's made me wonder if that's not exactly what I need, a daily reminder of what's wrong with my life from a drunk former athlete at 9 in the morning. A refreshing look at my life from the perspective of a storied Romanian Olympian. For all his criticisms he was a really nice guy and I enjoyed talking to him immensely. I'm thinking of calling him up and asking him to be my new guiding light. A life counselor if you will, a coach to keep me on the straight and narrow. And then his wife to drag him out before he's done criticising something.
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