What was I searching for?

I came out to San Diego for a reason, I don't always remember what that reason was, but I know I had a checklist at one point. I feel lost sometimes, unsure of what I'm supposed to do or where I should go. It's not a good feeling, in fact it borders on despair. I'm so independant now that I don't really have anyone I want to ask for advice, and even if I did I'm not sure I would listen to them. I know life isn't supposed to have a compass or a map, I'm not sure I even need either, I just wish I knew what I was supposed to be looking for or doing. It makes me feel cold all over to think about such things, it feels like it's about -10 degrees as I'm writing this. I want to find my own way, accomplish the goals that I set for myself, do the things I want to do...it's just that I forget what all those things are. Where did I go wrong? I guess I should have taken a left at Albuquerque.