Shave and a haircut, two fits

Life is funny in a bad way sometimes. You can frequently have bad days and then weeks and then months. So the bad days start to mean less, it stops being such a big deal, and you move through the mire that is your life. No big deal. But every once in awhile you have a really bad day, it upsets you and you don't think much else can go wrong. However, when something else goes wrong it becomes comical in a way that it shouldn't. It's like getting dumped by your girlfriend in the morning. Getting fired from your job in the afternoon. Then when you get to your car to go home, you realize that you've locked your keys in the car. At that point in the day you just kind of have to laugh, because this event that might normally change the nature of your day, has little or no impact on the severity of your day. Having your keys get locked inside your car is just superfluous to what made the rest of your day suck.

Case-in-point, yesterday I had a very unpleasant day, I'm not going to go into exactly why but needless to say I was pissed off. It sucked, royal smurfs (whatever the hell that means), and when I got out of work all I wanted to do was go to the gym, workout, and maybe do some yoga. Well as I was walking from work to the gym, contemplating all the things that had happened to foul my mood, I crossed the road and twisted my ankle on the curb or the sidewalk. It hurt, and mind you this is the same ankle I injured a couple of weeks ago and have been rehabbing ever since. Instead of being pissed off, I laughed, because up until that point my day had already been awful. The ankle just made it over the top ridiculous, and frankly it seemed like I was trapped in a Benny Hill rerun or something. So, still smiling ear to ear because of the absurdity of it all, I limped to the gym. When I got there yoga class was cancelled, and my workout was pretty awful to boot. Then I went home and Katy wouldn't come near me for some reason...great day.

Today was much of the same. My morning has been filled with folly and frustration. For relief I decided to get my hair cut. Getting my hair cut is one of the most stress relieving and relaxing things I can do. It's usually quite spiritual. Plus my hair was obnoxiously long at that point so I needed it done anyway. I'm going to take a little bit of time here to explain why getting my haircut is so nice. Getting my haircut is refreshing, regardless of the time of year, walking outside after one is an excellent feeling of freshness! While I'm getting my haircut there's not much to do but contemplate life. Sure you can make small talk with your barber but for the most part you have a solid 15 minutes where you can't squirm or do work, so you have to sit down and think. If you have a good barber you come out looking better than you did when you walked in, if your barber does a bad job wait a couple of weeks and next time find another barber.

Men usually stick with the same barber after they find one who they like. I am no exception to this even though for most of my life I have not had a consistent barber. The last two years I have settled on a barber and I'm quite happy with her service. Once a month I go in for a 15 minute hair cut and I give her $20 for a $14 haircut (which is kinda expensive for a haircut). She is a Vietnamese lesbian who owns the barber shop around the corner from work along with her partner who does women's nails. She does a wonderful job cutting my hair, and I really appreciate it. Also I don't have to explain to her how to cut my hair since she already knows.

Today however she was not in the barbershop when I got there, she was apparently at the doctor's office. I decided (foolishly) to get my hair cut anyway. Two minutes into it, I realized two things. First, that this was going to take forever, and second, that it was not going to be what I wanted. I suffered through one of the worst haircut experiences of my life. Here are some of the highlights:
1) My barber decided to answer her cellphone...twice...extending the length of the ordeal and increasing the angst which I felt. Don't fucking answer your cellphone while you are in the middle of playing with my hair!
2) Another guy who gets his haircut with my barber walked in, saw that she wasn't there, and told everyone that he would return, which is what I should have done. He gave me an understanding glance of sympathy.
3) I was not at ease at all during the process, which was part of the reason I went in there to begin with.

The end result, was me walking out of the barbershop after 45 minutes (3 times my normal haircut) with a masterpiece I could have created by myself at home and a wide smile on my face. Because honestly, why wouldn't something else bad happen today? This morning has been terrible, why wouldn't something that normally relieves stress end up poorly? I mean it's not like my boss would walk by and make fun of my haircut right? Oh wait...she absolutely would, and did. But it is funny because at this point my day was already pegged as bad, and the haircut didn't do anything to make it worse, it just made me laugh. If I walk downstairs and my bike is missing...that will be about par for the course.