Lions and Tigers and Department Stores, OH MY!

I was sitting in bed at 4am, and I hadn't slept a wink. I was doing my favorite activity, which is thinking about life, blissfully aware that I needed to get up and go to work in an hour. The next thing I knew I was being chased by three of my least favorite things. I was being hunted by a Terminator who looked like Kathy Bates (the 60 year old actress), while having droves of zombies try to eat me, inside of a mall. I know what your thinking, that is only two things chasing him, he needs to learn to count. I consider having a nightmare inside a mall the third thing. I've been chased by malls all my life, I hate them with a passion, and the fact that I had to run away from Terminator Kathy bates inside of a frustratingly layed-out department store makes me feel like the mall was out to get me.

I did eventually manage to get a grenade launcher in the sporting goods department (specifically in the camping goods...did you know that Thermos makes a grenade launcher set?), and misfire, killing several zombies but not the terminator. Then I got what I believed to be a shotgun, which turned out to be an elaborate squirt gun...I managed to flee the mall by running down some train tracks to a house with my aunts and uncles and cousins, only to find out that they had been targeted by a Hispanic gang. It was at this point I suspected that no good would come of this dream, and I tried to fight off the gang with my squirt gun. The last thing I remember was me running through the house looking for survivors dodging former loved ones turned zombies. I opened a door and the half blown up half zombified remains of the terminator grabbed me. Then I woke up to find out that I had slept through my alarm and was late for work. Awesome.

I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that America is a land of contrast. That and apparently some relatives are going to turn into zombies after I save them from a Hispanic gang who was out to steal our newspaper. Then I get choked by a terminator. Goddamn mall. Also, I dare me to make less sense.