Singles Awareness Day

People have been asking me for weeks what I'm doing today (Valentine's Day or my new favorite, Singles Awareness Day). My original answer to people that I thought would deem it appropriate was, "Well, I'm going to go home, and play some music to serenade myself. Maybe cook myself a nice dinner that I'm really impressed with. Then I think I'll sit down on my hand and give myself a stranger." That probably won't fly for 90% of the people who asked so I've decided to provide a comprehensive schedule for my plans:

5:01 - Alarm goes off, I roll out of bed and do some pushups and crunches and stretch a little bit. Blindly make my way to the bathroom in total darkness. Bump my foot into the metal futon frame, curse a little bit.

5:10 - Private bathroom time, usually reserved for shaving, using the toilet, showering, plucking my eyebrows, writing my blog. Usually does not include: combing my hair, looking at my face in the mirror, brushing my teeth, not shivering (the window in my bathroom is f'd up and that keeps the temperature in there about a degree or two within the outside temperature).

5:25 - Get dressed, try to tie my tie 2-3 times, give up. Put all my various badges and gadgets in my pockets. Put on my coat.

5:36 - Begin trek to work. Walk to the metro, think about how dark and cold it is outside, complain quietly to myself about my ankle hurting. Take the metro one stop and walk to work.

6:00 - Arrive at work, get something to eat from the deli downstairs, jokingly talk with the deli owner about why I didn't get her flowers. Eat my breakfast and check all the news of the world. Review all the websites and stuff that I normally check. Answer e-mails halfheartedly.

7:00 - Start doing real work, maybe take a few phone calls and get up to use the little boys room once. Dodge any calls from my mother, she knows I get into work early so it's important to check what the number is when I get a call. If she manages to get past my rigorous screening process, "talk" to her for a bit (listen and do work while she talks, sometimes ask random questions to seem like I'm interested) then claim that I have a meeting (I don't) in five minutes so I have to go. At some point I might copy and past a blog I wrote and publish it.

11:30 - Go eat lunch, either with somebody random but probably by myself. Actually apparently I'll be having lunch with my father, I'll probably have to help him find an emergency present.

12:15 - Get back to work, check to see if there is any dire emergencies or news I missed. Continue to do my job.

3:00 - Take a walk around the office pretending to look for someone, but really just stretching my legs. May stop by someone's desk who I know is gone and ask if they are around, act disappointed when they aren't.

4:00 - Freedom! Walk back to the metro and go home! Normally it would be straight to the gym to play racquetball but since my ankle is jacked I won't do that.

4:30ish - Arrive at home, check the mail for bills. Take off my work clothes and workout.

5:30 - Get done working out and shower. Once done with shower reheat some leftovers or make myself a simple dinner. Chef Boyardee could be involved or maybe something simple with rice and vegetables in a stir fry, who knows, maybe I'll bump it up a notch and make some chili, ohlalala.

6:00 - Free time, probably spent cleaning or doing laundry (but never ever folding it), maybe go on the internet and read my home e-mail.

6:40 - Leave for the gym.

7:00 - SPIIN class, hate life for an hour and nearly kill myself. Worry about if my asscrack is showing to anyone who might be on a bike behind me. Sweat alot, and when it's done wipe down my bike and exchange pleasantries with the instructor.

8:15 - Drive home and take a shower.

8:35 - Talk with my roomates, or if they've already gone out drinking sit around and read or write or watch tv or play video games.

10:00 - Think about heading to bed, get distracted by something shiny.

11:45 - Go downstairs, stretch and do some pushups and crunches, get in bed and think about life for awhile.

2:30ish - Fall asleep, have nightmares.

I think my original explanation is more concise and humorous. Maybe I should just stick with that. It's also much less depressing. On the other hand I'm not having to spend mega dollars at dinner or on a present that will ultimately lead to my significant other being disappointed with me. Ahh Valentine's day...